It is important to recognise that it is not only the Trans community that sometimes has been excluded like we are seeing of late with the flood of LGB without the T nonsense. There is unfortunately a long history of Bi erasure and rejection within the broader LGBTQIA community. Part of this is that there are those amongst the rainbow family that still have binary thinking, which means that based on their experience, people are either gay or straight, boy or girl. As a result, they see those who identify with a less ridged form of sexuality as experimenting or potential afraid of their real identity or even reject them completely. There are yet others that will place stipulations on such sexual identities that people must have had sexual encounters with multiple genders to identify as bisexual. It’s ugly putting these stipulations in place, as we are questioning the attraction people feel when relationships are complicated and influenced by numerous factors. It’s sad that many bisexual and pansexual people for that matter feel like they must prove their ‘queerness’ and don’t feel accepted because of this gatekeeping. We often try to tell society that people don’t need to fit certain stereotypes yet it is a message that has gotten lost in our own community as no one should should need to conform to other people’s perception to be considered valid. It is up to others to be accepting. After all, isn’t this what Pride is all about.
The nature of bisexual erasure
Data from multiple countries have for a little while shown that people identifying as bisexual actually make up the greatest proportion of the LGBTQIA+ community. A Gallup survey in the states conducted in 2023 showed that 4.4% of American’s identified as bi or 57% of the LGBT+ adult population in the US. In Australia as of 2022 the bisexual population accounted for 1.7% of people over 16 compared to a combine total for those identifying as gay and lesbian of 1.4%. So considering that bisexual people make up the largest section of the rainbow it might seem confusing that they are one of the most marginalised within our own community.
A recent literary review conducted by Australian researchers Amy McCole and Joel Anderson highlights the ongoing exclusion of Bi+ identities. The highlight the systematic methods that are used to often present bisexual identities as illegitimate or simply a ‘Phase’ or making it impossible for individuals to be viewed as valid with out some level of unattainable proof. Even in situations were bi+ identities are recognised they are often associated with negative behaviours. The review concluded that there are there are 9 clear themes of bi erasure and the experiences of participants some of which were sadly gender specific with women often being labelled as attention seeking, this may explain why we see more negative coverage associated with bi+ female celebrities. Overall 67 of the 99 studies include in the review reported beliefs that bisexuality was not a valid or real identity, sadly these views tended to come from family. However, for me the most concerning set of conclusions is that bi + people reported that their bi+ sexuality made them feel like an imposter within the community as they were told things like that they were “not actually gay,” or “not gay enough” . Additionally it is not surprising that 43 out of the 99 studies showed the Bi+ people felt like they were regularly interrogated or challenged about their identity. This highlights the simple fact that many of us do not get the support and acceptance we need from the larger LGBTQIA community which is tragic.
Part of this is because of the binary thinking I mentioned earlier and what is called social identity theory which explains our need to classify people into distinct groups, in this case gay or straight. However it is definitely more then this as people have a tendency to judge sexual orientation based current romantic relationship rather than the potential attraction. As a result many bisexual people are invalidated due to being in a heterosexual relationships while others currently in same-sex relationships will be assumed to be gay. It means that despite people identifying a certain way they easily get lost and especially considering the negative social discourse that suggest we are “confused”, “experimenting”, or told that it is “a phase” means that there is often not going to be a rush to correct some of these assumptions. Many of us if we are happy in a heterosexual relationship will no come out at all, after all it is safer and leads to a lot less questions about our commitment and identity. So while we make up the largest proportion of the queer community we are also the least visible and most effectively dismissed.
My own experience
It is one of the reasons I never really came out as bisexual to many people early in adulthood. Besides feeling like some might be less than supportive, there was a fear that I wouldn’t be accepted by other members of the community, especially since I was in a heterosexual relationship. Even beyond this, the fact that I had never been with a guy at this stage meant that I really started invalidating myself. The doubts ate away at me, I even started to perceive myself as straight, just someone that seemed to question things when I was a teenager, dismissing it in some ways like a phase. Except it wasn’t, I was always attracted to both male and female characteristics, open to relationships with anyone despite my other fears. The reality of being in one type of relationship didn’t and shouldn’t have invalidated my identity, but sadly, it did. This is due to rhetoric present in both the wider society and the LGBTQIA community.
The existence of this bi erasure was highlighted to me recently. When a queer friend assumed my boyfriend was straight, which may seem fair since he is dating a woman but it highlights the binary default people have. Even suggesting we are what we date. It forgets that other sexually identities exist. Considering my boyfriend has outwardly identified as pansexual longer than I have been out, I hated that his identity was being questioned. He shouldn’t need to prove anything to be seen as part of the community. The fact that it is a default assumption even with in a supportive space means there is still a lot of progress to be made.
Resent public perception
We might like to think some times that these things are past problems however this year we have several very public examples of bisexual erasure which have unfortunately reinforced the negative public discourse and makes it harder for all of us to be seen. The most notable was JoJo Siwa who after being in a same sex relationship started dating Chris Hughes in the aftermath of Celebrity Big Brother. Previously having identified as a pansexual seems to have been a bit forgotten once she started to refer to herself as a lesbian which definitely brought a degree of added heat to the reaction. On Celebrity Big Brother she publicly voiced the fact that she feels now like the term “queer” is a better fit. Realistically, she is a 22 year old that obviously doesn’t fit into the labels society likes and is realistically probably still working herself out which must be impossible having been in the spotlight since she was 10 on Dance Moms and realising ‘Boomerang’ at 13. The reaction has include a joke from Miley Cyrus at Dreamland Pride about “going back into the closet to find JoJo Siwa & bring her back out” is a perfect example of the community eating itself. Considering Cyrus identifies as pansexual and gender fluid faced her own criticism due to her relationship with Liam Hemsworth one would hope she knew better. It was not a serious comment and JoJo and Cyrus have been in touch since to clear the air but such public jokes add to the negative perception of bisexual and pansexual identities as invalid within the community. As a Miley Cyrus fan from the Hannah Montana days it’s a bit disappointing and hopefully she will think a little more before making a similar joke in the future.
However, this year it hasn’t only been Siwa that has been seemingly abandoned by community for starting a heterosexual relationship. Billie Eilish has also been the target of some pretty disgusting commentary after she was caught kissing Nat Wolff with fans criticising her for “turning straight during Pride month”. This is despite the fact that Eilish has spoke public about being attracted to both men and women for years. It highlights that like with Siwa fans place bisexual stars into categories based on their current relationship and that for some being bisexual is some how a betrayal. Not only is this a pretty toxic discourse for anyone that sees themself as bisexual but it also legitimises the idea that people can ‘turn’ or change their sexual orientation. This is a dangerous idea for the broader LGBTQIA community that has been popular within heteronormative society.
The impact of erasure
Some may consider this to be pretty unimported but the impact of bi erasure can easily be fairly significant. The constant messaging that Bi+ identities aren’t valid can leave people lost and impact their sense of self, this can also be reinforced by the constant interrogations and rejections that suggest we are not ‘queer enough’. Hearing this enough can wear people down and I suspect their are more then a few people out their that sadly come to believe this harmful rubbish and are left trying to ignore things about themselves. Even for those that don’t question our identities it can be a clear source of stress and anxiety especially as we often feel excluded from queer spaces and cut of from the connection with queer culture.
So much of the LGBTQIA community is based on shared experiences, including persecution, discrimination, self discovery and coming out, that it seems impossible that so many would be left out in the cold. The ongoing presence of Bi erasure within the community shows that we need to do better. We need to start focusing on the elements of “queer’ experience that draw us together rather then rejecting those that aren’t the same. This is the message we keep trying to send to the wider community about inclusion so maybe we need to practice it a bit more.
