Before coming out a year ago I released the importance of connecting with the community, to find a place to share experiences and seek advice. This was especially important as I faced the daunting prospect of uprooting the life of those I care about as well as beginning my own journey to be myself. Looking back, I was a little naïve however as to how much I would lean on others for validation and support especially in those early days but at least I was aware enough to create some online links before it all went down.
The Importance of Connection
However, I quickly learnt it was more than a place to scroll through post looking for nuggets of advice or inspiration. It is more about being connected in our hostile world to a safe space where we can express ourselves, vent, share our moments of celebration along the way and seek comfort when things aren’t looking so bright. As such it wasn’t look before I became a contributor either asking questions or sharing my own experiences. One thing that quickly amazed me in this was the willingness for others to reach out and friend me on Facebook, which to be honest was a little scary at first but also those wishing to learn from my experience. This was equally daunting in that at times I felt like I was just getting started on my own path and yet here were others seeking encouragement and support. It’s these interactions that highlight the most crucial element of our community, that we look after ourselves! We reach out, we provide positive reinforcement, and we validate each other while we travel down our unique journeys that remain full of shared experiences.
Those first steps
Initially for myself, like many others, this was an online space through Facebook, Reddit and to a lesser extent Twitter, but I quickly learnt the benefits of a safe place through joining a new gym. The decision to seek out a transgender friendly workout space was not so much about community (I thought I had that covered between a couple of friends and online groups) but the simple fact that I have since about the age of 16 loved hitting working out 2 to 3 times a week. Added to this was the growing dysphoria I was feeling working out in guys clothes throughout the preceding months before I came out. Yet, I knew that from day one there was no way I was going to feel confident enough to go into a normal gym rocking some colourful leggings and a crop top (first thing I brought after coming out). So, I needed to seek out a place where I could work out and feel safe to express myself, a very practical decision.
Finding my place
At T-generation in Melbourne’s north I not only found this but made a much deeper connection to the community that I didn’t know I needed or even wanted. Afterall it is more than just a gym where you smash through a workout under the watchful eye of trainers but also a place you will regularly find someone willing to listen and a place to seek advice once again. A well-connected hub, Sam has a network of connects to help along the journey and where he doesn’t know the best option the rest of the gym will jump in to fill the gap in discord. Afterall, it isn’t just a gym it is community of queers, trans and non-binary humans that just want to live their life and have a gay old time so whether it is sharing pet photos, upcoming events or exchanging some banter it is a lively crew. Creating this environment might be enough for some but Sam is not one to be satisfied and seems always working on building support and opportunity for trans and gender diverse people. It’s not surprising then that the gym over the last year has become even more of a haven for me and a real opportunity to explore what it means to engage and be part of the community without needing to rush into any uncomfortable circumstances.
This experience has taught me a few things, the first is even if you are hesitant to join the Trans or larger LGBTQIA+ community finding an opportunity to build links gradually at your own pace is worthwhile. In this respect an online connection is a great starting point but if possible, finding a physical space, especially one connected to your interests where you can be yourself around others that will have your back is so rewarding. Even if you don’t know it we all need at least one safe space.
Read more about my thoughts on community and the importance of showing Pride.
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