Write about your first name: its meaning, significance, etymology, etc.

Names are important to everyone as they often come to represent our identity. As we tend to grow into our names, it shapes us as we grow. However for the Trans community names have an ever greater importance. Both because our ‘deadname’ represents the person people expected us to be while our new moniker is a symbolic validation of our true self.

Deciding on a name.

Every trans person is different. Some will start their transition and then try to find a name that seems to suit their appearance. Those with supportive parents might ask them to contribute to the process similar some might workshop possibilities with partners. Others might simply pick a name they have always liked or even base their choice on a person they admire. None of these possibilities were quite right for me as a deep thinker. I am focused on the meaning and links to my identity as much as anything.

The more things change the more they stay the same.

My starting point was a clear desire to keep my initials as JGB was key to my identity and my past. In part due to the desire to maintain the same first initial with my son. This desire, therefore, narrowed my options somewhat, but of course, there were still more common options, Janet, Jessie, Jennifer. However, these did not feel right to me like realistically picking a name simingly by random.

Knowing the general entomology of female names in a lot of cultures as a drivertive of an existing male name, I started looking at the different versions of my old name. In this I found a possibility in French, ‘Jeanette’, not the same origin as my male name but it had a kind of music to it. So, I delved deeper into the similarities and how this fit with my identity. Amazingly, both names had the same number of letters, have a similar previlance and are reasonably rare within the community, and would likely need to continue to spell my name for people. All these similarities seem perhaps inconsequential, but each represented elements of how I had grown into my original name and its influence on my identity. Perhaps it would seem coincidence but ‘Jeanette’ was starting to clearly seem like a perfect fit.

The meaning behind names

The last thing to consider was the meaning. My original name in Hebrew means ‘gift from god’ or ‘god has given’, and while I am not religious, I have always valued the implications that I was something special, like who wouldn’t. There, for the meaning of Jeanette as “God is gracious,” did appeal as while I might no longer be a gift, it does still imply gods good will and benevolence, therefore still suggesting a degree of importance. Even the urban dictionary had similar traits that spoke to my character in terms of intelligence, kind-hearted, passionate, and good-looking. All of this meant it was almost a perfect fit.

Final thoughts

It was now a forgone conclusion, as I had chosen a name that showed my desire for continuity of my identity. This was important to me, and I did not want to lose the elements of self that were part of my identity as much as my gender. Even signilling this continuity to those I cared about and wish to take with me on my journey. Additionally, while I honestly did not consider including people in this process, as I felt like it was a deeply personal decision the thought process I had followed felt like I had paid respect to my parents’ decision 33 years beforehand since at every step their decision had guided mine.

That sweet sound

Like a student excited by the fact that teachers know and use their name, those first instance seeing it used were powerful. Perhaps unsurprisingly odd since I was used to a different name quickly validating as an assertion of who I am. Even two years on, I can still get real tingles seeing my name in new situations for the first time.

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Read more about my expereinces engaging with pride, having new hobbies and expereincing Euphoria