What would you change about modern society?

There are a lot of things that we could change about modern society, capitalism, discrimination, addiction, and commercialization among them however for me expectations underpin most of these issues. Everyday society places numerous expectations on all of us that influence our perception of success, relationships, and identity. Most of these are formulated based on a stereotypical view of how we should act and therefore create pressure to conform. Our inability to either live up to these expectations or even suppress elements of our identity as a result leads to anxiety and depression.

Expectations on women

The stereotypical gender roles have been well documented and have been used to legitimize patriarchy around the world. This stems from the biological expectation the women’s primary purpose is to produce children, which gave rise to the social extension that women are expected to be mothers and look after the home. Not only was this part of the basis for legal discrimination and the motivation for the denial of women’s rights for the better part of the last millennium but continues to plague women around the world. Even in countries where many barriers have been broken down for women seeking a career or living alternative lifestyles the expectations for motherhood continue to be a constant burden. Often these women still face some level of socail stigma and are forced to justify their decision not to have children. In addition, there are those who are driven to fulfill these expectations through social conditioning but are unable to for medical and relationship reasons and the subsequent feeling of failure. In both these instances the expectations of gender role continue to extract a heavy toll on mental health while still serving as an obstacle for gender equality.

Expectations on men

Even though gender roles and expectations have historically had a more significant impact on women they continue to have a negative effect on men as well. In this instance these expectations attempt to maintain ideas of hegemonic masculinity that suggest that males need to be strong, stoic and providers. The ugliness of this is that males that have not lived up to these expectations have been persecuted and made to feel ashamed for showing signs that deviate from these stereotypes. It is these expectations that lead to social trends in alcohol abuse and contribute to domestic violence as men that have been taught to ignore emotion to fit these stereotypes have difficulty coping with different situations. They find themselves lacking skills and searching for ways to reassert their strength and control based on these values. This does not excuse their actions as adults are always responsible for their actions, but these ongoing social issues are a symptom of our society itself.

Expectations for success

Capitalist society dictates that success is measured in economic terms and by a person’s income. This places pressure on everyone to not only work for the basic needs or even a moderate level of confront but often drives people to take on too much. In these cases, those that experience some level of capitalist success are often overworked and sacrifice other elements of family life. Alternatively, those that don’t reach these expectations despite their other virtues often are made to feel like failures by the perception of others contributing once again to poor mental health. This pursuit goes beyond adults in the workplace as this desire for success is passed on to children with parents placing grand expectations for academic performance and university entry. A person does not have to be a teacher to recognize the issues this has for high school students and contribution to youth suicide these expectations create. This is not to suggest that we should abandon all desires to do well and establish a comfortable lifestyle, but it clearly needs to be tapered away from such rigid expectations.

Expectations of social groups

Another one of our primary needs is to feel connected with a larger social group, unfortunately this means once again there are sets of expecations. In many cases diverse groups or subcultures often have expecations around behavior and interests. Unfortunately, in many instances this means that people make sacrifices around thier own identity or realistically play a role to fit in with these groups. Neither possibility is realistically sustainable long term or terribly healthy, but the alternative is to potentially be ostracized and alone which is equally devastating. The answers are therefore to seek out groups that lack rigid expecations but once again this is more of a rarity than we would like to admit.

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There are more instances of expecations in our society and realistically this could be a whole book or at least an essay in some academic journal. Yet, these examples demonstrate why these pressures that we put on each other are worth changing.

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Read another of my social commentaries on ignorance or of expectations within the trans community