What are your biggest challenges?
As a transwoman I have been faced with a lot of challenges over the last 2 years especially. While some of these are dealing with my own mental health and dysphoria, most are a result of social values. As the truth is widespread, narrow and old-fashioned values underscore the demand of different elements of life to create a constant set of challenges.
Discrimination and Hate
The obvious challenge that any member of a minority must face is discrimination. As a transperson now as our lives are being debated in the political arena in the USA and UK, this has intensified in the last year. This is the reaction to increased freedom and legal protection, which has caused a vocal response from the conservative element of society. These groups are driven primarily through a lack of understanding, an inability to comprehend things and a desire to maintain the current status quo. Intrinsically, people always fear what they don’t understand which coupled with the prospect of the uncertainty of change easily turns to hate. To an extent this is understandable as part of human nature, however the desire for personal advancement and power means that these fears are manipulated by politicians which increases the challenges faced by minority groups.
In my own experience discrimination has been a continual issue at work since coming out to students. Despite the support of school leaders and a degree of understanding from within the student body, negative comments were a daily occurrence. In most instances these were low level, but constant acts tended to wear me down especially on a tough day. However, there were several very ugly exchanges with students that left me fairly shaken up and contemplating my future in teaching. Despite my ability to cope with this level of discrimination it did contribute to my decision to move on for 2024 as Afterall no one should have to face those conditions within the workplace.
Old School Family Values
Another catch cry of conservatives especially due to a perceived threat of the LGBTQIA community to challenge the perception of a typical or nuclear family is the need to protect these traditional values. Not only does this increase the level of discrimination but it highlights the expectations that people have been conditioned to expect from an early age. Generations have grown up with the universal life goal of marriage and a couple of kids. These ingrained social values have contributed to negative mental health outcomes for numerous couples that have problems conceiving as well as the stigma towards things like divorce. It is these ingrained values and the need for people to meet these expectations that led to a range of challenges and negative impacts.
In terms of coming out to my wife our initial challenge for our relationship was the newfound conflict of our family unit with the traditional heteronormative family unit we had been conditioned to follow. More than our own ability to adapt to our new reality, the impact of public perception of our family unit has added a new layer of concern for our son. This has been especially part of the challenge in deciding on schools and community activities. In many ways, despite dealing with our own internal preconceptions, this means it will no doubt continue to be a source of anxiety going forward.
Success in a Capitalist society
Of course, just like we have been conditioned to expect a certain measure of success when it comes to our personal life, a capitalist society drives us to work harder and become captivated by consumerism. This consumerism is in part due to a desire to satisfy our wants and ‘enjoy’ ourselves which is continually reinforced through advertising promising the next important thing. However, more ingrained in us, like the notion of family, is the desire for economic prosperity and the ‘white picket fence’. In fact, this drives us to pursue wealth beyond the required levels to satisfy our needs. Often this means that we make sacrifices in order ot increase our income or extend ourselves so that we look and feel successful.
To have a certain lifestyle isn’t a negative thing, however the increased level of inflation and the resulting rise in interest rates means I like many have an increasing level of financial pressure. This creates a whole host of challenges in terms of managing money to create cuts in the family budget but also looking for new avenues to earn money. Thankfully, in my wife’s case this has led to a real positive as the situation has driven a new business venture, but it does create challenges for managing the work life balance. Obviously, this would have been felt to an extent regardless of our situation, however we could have easily settled for a smaller house or in a cheaper area. Our decisions as a result to an extent of our perception of success have contributed along with circumstance to create a greater level of economic strain over the last year.
These three aspects of society have for the past 18 months been major contributors to the challenges I and many others face on a regular basis. The bleak outlook is that without massive social change these are going to be continuing to be challenges for myself and many others.
Read more of my thoughts on social expectations and the need for positive change.
Leave a Reply