To many sections of Cis Heteronormative, even those that would often consider themselves allies, it’s clear that they just don’t get Pride. This is painfully obvious from people on talk back radio, media outlets and social media that keep making the same stupid claims “I am all for personal freedom, love who you want but why does it need to be in our face all the time.” In a lot of these cases, we might seriously question these people’s acceptance and support for LGBTQIA rights as it clearly seems conditional but I’m giving these people the virtue of the doubt and instead going to make it clear. The simple fact is that it isn’t about you sweetheart.
The message of Pride
As any school student with a dictionary will be able to tell you, Pride is the opposite to shame. To this day this means it is the opposite to the feelings of shame the LGBTQIA community have been forced to feel for generations. As we continue to face differing levels of social discrimination and persecution often this has included labels like degenerate, freak, pedo, deviant as well as the direct teaching that our existence is wrong. Growing up in this society, hearing it enough especially from people in authority at an early age, this tends to bore a hole into your very soul and make people feel ashamed of their thoughts and feelings. This of course stays with us as we can’t change who we are but due largely to this shame and fear of acceptance that it comes with it can lead to some pretty drastic and terrible outcomes. Especially considering a substantial portion of those trying to understand themselves are kids and teenagers.
The message of Pride is therefore an attempt to counter this prevailing and deep-rooted shame that we have all felt. It is a call towards recognising our uniqueness and celebrating who we are rather than hiding it and allowing this society induced shame to fester into something worse. It is as the word suggests a message to other members of our community, those still trying to work things out, those still unable to come out due to the threat of persecution and those struggling with the breakdown of their relationships that they don’t need to be ashamed. That they are not alone and there are others out there who are like them. This is exactly why Pride matters, why it needs to be visible because it is about supporting others that might not be able to ask for help. The message is for them not the cis white guys writing for some Murdoc newspaper, like seriously, get over yourself.
The power of Pride events
As someone that is still very much building her connection to community and her own level of comfort at attending Pride events. It is pretty quick to see why it is a powerful movement and an important one. Firstly, what is worth noting is that my own reluctance is a product of that deeply engrained sense of shame that I am still very much trying to shake off and the often negative association people in my life have had with the Pride movement. The idea that while I might be Trans, I should not be publicly celebrating this fact or that queer culture isn’t necessarily a ‘safe’ environment are all heavily prejudiced misconceptions which I have needed to reject along my journey.
Regardless over the last two years attending some community events including the 2024 Midsumma Carnival in Melbourne was a huge step forward. Not only have I been able to resist these feelings of shame to allow myself to attend these events, but these events highlight that message of acceptance in such a way that I could feel it. These gatherings, especially something like the size of Midsumma show more than any poster or football jumper that we are not alone, we are accepted, we are celebrated, and we should not be ashamed. The volume of people from all cross sections of life shows this in a way that nothing else can. Being there with my son meant a lot. I know that as a family we have a place and that hopefully regardless of his path through life he can grow up proud of himself.
Stop virtue signaling
Anyone that seriously has a problem with things like Pride rounds, Marches or merchandise as being sick of ‘virtue signaling’ should actually consider the idea they are against. In reality what these people are raging against is a message to a minority group that you shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are, and that wider society accepts you. MY GOD! What a terrifying and horrible message. We must start a moral panic to stop this positive idea of acceptance and tolerance. The people who actually feel this way need to take a more critical look at themselves which I know isn’t easy especially when we have reason to believe that it isn’t going to be a pretty sight. However, self-reflection and admitting our faults is the first step to positive change and growth as a person so while it’s hard there is some real upside.
Maybe if enough people learn in this way, we will have less need for Pride and all these amazingly wacky, colourful events because acceptance will become the default rather than a message, we need to get out young members of the LGBTQIA community. Unfortunately, the current political climate around the world suggests this is a long way off. Until then the more hate and persecution that comes our way means that our Pride will get louder. Afterall, we need to try and beat back the shame that keeps getting pushed our way.
Read more about my own journey engaging with communty and learning to embrace Pride.
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