Its been a while since I wrote any poetry, I’m pretty realistic and know it is not my strength. Yet, currently I am struggling with a few reminders and seem to have a hard time escaping. In part this is due to circumstance and the necessary contact I need to have with my Ex in order to be an effective parent. The weekly interactions often bring fresh examples of some of the things that used to frustrate me and others are a reminder of the good time we had together. Regardless they always leave me with a wave of emotions, thoughts about what might have been, and a lot of endless torment trapped in my own head. At times over the last few weeks especially it has felt impossible to free myself from the shadows of the past and she continues to have a premiant residence in my head.
I doubt that this is very different from most people after the end of long term relationship. As someone that is constantly critical of myself and over thinking everything, the feeling of being stuck in this sort of painful loop isn’t healthy. So, I find myself turning to poetry to express these feeling to work through them and consider the complex nature of my emotions. Perhaps this lacks polish but that is far from the point as some time we just need to get things on a page and shout it out to the void.
Torment of shadows
You’re always somewhere
Lurking in the darkness
Beyond that which I’m aware
Impossible for me to harness
Waiting to be recalled
To torment me again
Like I am still enthralled
A slave to your reign
The pleasant reflections
That seem easily stirred
Like endless infections
One long tortuous afterward
A reminder of things lost
What seemed unquestioned
Perhaps we were star-crossed
Rather than intentioned
Without your love
The memories burn
Too hard to rise above
Impossible to spurn
Distance and time
Perhaps the only hope
To unchain my mind
And break this romantic trope.
Read more of my poems including the lonely Husk and the modern environment or some gothic horror with this little piece Cursed. Subscribe and access my published works of LGBTQIA fiction An inconsistent Line and Shadows of the Digital dream
