Back years ago, during my university days when I spent hours on public transport traveling for study and work there were more than a few interesting people I’ve met along the way. Often perhaps this was more removed, and I played the role of a casual observer watching their drama unfold in a public setting and reflecting on the different people that make up Melbourne society however there were times where I found myself amongst a few interesting conversations. The most notable must have happened when I was about 19 and left a profound mark on me that I remember the event clearly 15 years later.
An odd conversation
Like most days back then, I was standing on the train, leaning on the dividers near the doors. Headphones pumping out nonstop shuffle of Australian rock from The Living End, Cold Chisel and Midnight Oil amongst others. Absolutely the cool kid. I had done the nerdy book worm routine in the morning. This time between Uni and work I always just wanted to chill.
It was with a little frustration that a stranger chose to join me in the doorway despite the numerous seats available. Even so, I didn’t take too much notice of him at first. After a couple of minutes, he asked what I was listening to. Always brought to be polite, I answered, and things just kept going from there as he started asking about specific songs. I wanted nothing more than to get back into the grove and zone out, but in some way, we can never overcome our upbringing, and I continued to politely answer.
At this point, the conversation was starting to get a little strange, and I took in my surprise companion. He seemed like he may have been in his 30s, and while he seemed neat enough, he wasn’t terribly neat with a loss fitting t-shirt l an old cap and a scraggly beard. It was enough to really start making me think that this conversation wasn’t the best idea. Yet I guess I felt safe enough as a 19-year-old 6′ guy who had a few inches and what seemed like a bit of size compared to my unlikely companion. I was therefore comfortable enough to see where this went, as his behaviour had started to grab my interest as a bit of a study. Especially now he started talking about himself.
He started talking about success in business and all manner of things which seemed unlikely based on his shaggy appearance and quite broadly about life experience. Regardless of whether I believed everything he said it was clear that he definitely had seen a lot and there was a degree of ‘mad wisdom’ to some of views. It was inevitable that he would ask questions about me but nothing that I felt really crossed the line like inquiring about my studies. Talking to him about working to become a teacher seemed to really set something off in his mind though as he clearly admired the profession and wanted to understand more about my motives for going down this path. This set off a larger discussion about the willingness to help others, which was an important value for both of us as he claimed to have given away a lot of wealth. Even though I was still extremely sceptical I came away feeling that he had a strong moral code and where he would be one to help others.
Reflection
As which such encounters it was over quickly as a reached my stop and needed to continue my way to work. However, it was something i dwelled on for some time afterwards partly because I felt guilty for judging this man based on his appearance and the willingness to break social norms. It stuck with me as I tried to justify the skepticism and contempt that I had shown him hidden behind the layer of good manners. Yet, despite this initial perspective his nature and values clearly represented someone that cared about his fellow man and just wanted a simple conversation to pass the time. Even now despite this event occurring more than 15 years ago, it has stuck in my mind.
I hope and wish that today if a similar interaction came my way, I would reserve judgement. However, now having come out as a trans woman it is impossible to engage in such a situation without hesitation and fear. The increasing Anti-trans rhetoric as well as the general level of violence against women means that many of us tend to look on such random interactions with fear and cannot open ourselves up chance encounters. This is a sad fact of our society. All we need is more people like my mysterious traveling companion.
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