It has been well reported that hate crime and anti-trans messaging are on the rise. Due to the fact that the right-wing conservatives have targeted us as part of their latest political war on minorities and a clear distraction for their many failings. It is a time honoured strategy when there are tough times to use fear-mongering to create a sense of anger and hopefully unite supporters behind a specific leader who promises to do something. As a result of this political climate, bigots have definitely been emboldened, and more people seem to fall for these hate fuelled fairy tails, adding to the amount of discrimination we face.

There is no perfect way of dealing with the hate as it takes so many forms and can often be fairly insidious, questioning every element of our identity and making us afraid. As someone who works in a public role as a teacher and an active blogger, I have definitely had to deal with a share of abuse. It means that I have had to change things up at times as well as developing some strategies to deal with the hate over the journey so far. However, as I have come to appreciate more recently it is not only important to protect ourself from hateful comments but also to be aware of the effect on others especially online and it is something I need to continue to work on.

The doubt and fear of transphobia in person

As a teacher that came out in an environment that had a very unsupportive student cohort the level of abuse and discrimination I faced was pretty extreme. This was despite the very clear support I had from the school administration and obviously my position of authority as a school leader. The shift in students attitudes towards me was instantaneous, while those in my own classes were mostly supportive, especially my year 12s the general vibe of the school was hostile.

It meant that for the next few months, I spent every day being regularly misgendered with students calling out ‘Mr’ at every opportunity even if I was just walking through the corridor. This was so encompassing that it was hard at times. Often, this was so widespread that it was impossible to even pinpoint who said something. This made it impossible to report, and the student management team was already under the pump. It quickly started wearing me down, and I deliberately avoid walking around the school as much as possible. Although each incident in isolation didn’t really have much impact, the continuous nature was exhausting.

On top of this constant barrage, there were more specific incidents. One of which included a group of year 8 students ambushing me outside my office with a range of comments and inappropriate questions. Another one involved students sneaking into my office and going through my personal belongings. These incidents really created a sense of fear and anger as, especially with our difficult group of students, I always felt it was close to breaking out into something if I handled it the wrong way. The only benefit here was that it was possible to identify students and some action could be taken. Although this was never going to be sufficient, it was something.

The fallout

All of this meant that after coming out at work I had a pretty difficult 8 months that left me questioning myself and feeling very isolated. It was a situation that was made worse by the fact I couldn’t really talk about it properly with those closest to me. If it wasn’t for a few close friends at work and a professional ear I would have been a lot worse. Not only did this barrage of abuse make me question my future in the profession but it also made me doubt my ability to cope and continue with my journey. It was unsustainable and as much as I hated the feeling of running away or leaving some things unfinished moving on to a better environment was necessary for my own mental health.

Dealing with this leave of hate in person meant that I had to learn about my limits as well as recognise the importance of removing myself from such environments. It was a decision that easily worked out for the better as I found a much more supportive workplace. This not only reaffirmed my passion for teaching but also helped me recognise the positive impact I could have on others just by being myself. However, I am still a bit gun shy from the experience and have trouble standing up for myself in public even if it is a simple case of being misgendered and this is going to be something I continue to work on but recognition of this is the first step.

Online abuse

Dealing with abuse in person is more terrifying, but in my case, it had a clear solution. However, online transphobia is impossible to stop. As someone who has actively engaged in a variety of platforms, firstly, to promote this blog but also to connect with a wider community, it is unavoidable. Even in the best case situation, it only takes a little scrolling online to see a wealth of comments. As hurtful as this can be, it is nothing compared to the feeling of a targeted pile on. Unfortunately, the consequence of advocating for trans rights is that I have made myself a target for this sort of thing. The first time this happened was a complete shock, as my phone was going crazy with comments from notable Australian anti-trans extremists and conservative journalists sharing my blog to their legion of sycophants, all because I suggested teachers should support trans kids. The hate got so extreme that the Department of Education picked up on the online traffic and advised my principal in case I needed support due to the vile abuse.

Implementing restrictions

Unless I am completely willing to give up my online presence it isn’t possible to complete avoid online abuse. However, there were some steps I could take, firstly by temporary setting my account to private, just to break the flow of comments and let things die down. It gave me time to look at more long term restrictions including making certain changes to my blog to prevent transphobes copying content from my blog. It was a similar strategy I used to manage my tiktok account when the negative comments started to really pile up. Locking down permission and implementing moderation is perhaps the best way to limit some of this abuse however it definitely doesn’t stop everything as I was recently remaindered by a private message claiming to be a from a former student. So in this case I need other coping mechanisms.

Vent, block, report and repeat

Very early on I learnt to stop my natural implication to argue back, which for me takes a huge amount of effort. However, I still need to be able to release this frustration and anger before I can move on so when a comment really gets under my skin I tend to vent in different places either online or in person to some close friends. This allows me to release my frustration and also gain the support I need to counter act some of the comments, enough for me to move past the initial feelings and let calmer heads prevail. The end result is that I can block and report the person without getting sucked in or continuing to ruminate on their comments any longer.

@jeanb_narrativecuriosity

To protect my followers and limit a bit of hate that comes my way ages ago I changed comment permissions on Tiktok thanks to some helpful advice. Unfortunately, I still get my fair share of bigoted BS recently through a DM which made me think about the way I deal with this rubbish as well as the importance of creating a safe space. However, one the ways I manage is by venting and mocking some of the stupid nonsense these people come up with but at times that can have a potential impact on others if not done in the right place. This is something as someone still relatively new to an extensive use of social media that I am still learning. #trans #transexperince #transjourney #discriminationawareness #discrimination #dealingwithhate #bigots #transphobia #transphobiaisnotokay #socialmedia #lgbtqia #hate #transcommunity #mtf

♬ original sound – JeanieB

Overstepping and being mindful of others

The reality of the way I deal with some of these things is that I can lose sight of other important considerations. Since my desire to vent and gain support can lead me to overshare and unwittingly force others to see some pretty hurtful comments. Inflicting some of the similar pain I have experienced on others in the community is a pretty horrible feeling. In many ways this has hurt more over the last week then reading some ugly comments. The whole thing has really highlighted that I need to be constantly mindful of maintaining safe spaces for others. This doesn’t mean venting is completely out of the question but I definitely need to be more considerate of the place after all it is important to maintain a positive community for all of us.

Final thoughts

The sad reality of our situation is that transphobia isn’t going anywhere and realistically with the current political climate these bigoted voices are tending to get louder. It means that we all need to have strategies to deal with hate and continually support each other moving forward.