How do you practice self-care?
The last few years especially have been a real roller-coaster filled with plenty of difficulty times. This has taught me not only the importance of self-care in general but also the need to have a variety of strategies that work. After all, things that require a bit of cash or time commitment are not always going to be possible and may be dependent on circumstances. Additionally, when we are feeling really down, we often start to stop practising some self-care, like reading that requires a bit more cognitive load. So, I thought I would share a few of my main strategies both to give an insight but also maybe inspire anyone struggling at the moment and needing something new.
Working out
Now, some people might be into going for a jog. This is totally not me. I have always been a bit of a gym rat since I was about 16. Realistically, Covid lockdowns was the longest time I have spent since without a good regime. In general, exercise is a great habit for self care as it releases endorphins, which helps combat depression. Combined with the chemical benefit that exercise brings, there is also the flow on mental impact of maintaining a healthy body. So whether it is running, swimming, or hitting the weights, it is perhaps the greatest starting point.
Personally as well my preference for weight training at the gym has always been an opportunity to take an hour a few times a week to escape. Added to this weight training also gives me an opportunity to smash out some frustration after a day of work. Perhaps even more importantly, for me, regular exercise really helps address my Patella instability and managing pain. Finally of course the added bonus is that I found a GYM with a great community that is the perfect safe place for me to be myself form the very first steps of transition. All up, working out is definitely the most important form of self-care for me, but as Covid highlighted, it is not always possible to keep our routines.
Writing
Obviously, as someone that writes a blog this is clearly an outlet. Currently, posts do definitely dominate my regular writing habits and are a way that I can vent or specifically work through things that have been especially frustrating. However, sharing the positive movements of my journey is perhaps more important as it gives me perspective as well as an avenue for support from my followers and the online community. Yet, alongside my regular posts I am consistently working away at several fiction projects whether for upcoming competitions or just developing my novel. More so than my blog this form of writing is about enjoyment and escaping things a bit by focusing on something completely different whether it is world building, character development or plot twists in these instances it is about the craft.
Board Games
Whether it is a game like Scythe or Magic the Gathering board games are a great social example of self-care. Strategy games are especially good for me as my competitiveness means that I get invested and concentrate on planning my moves. This sort of focus while sometimes tiring gives me an opportunity to distance my self from different things for a time and allows me to destress. The added social component means that I can enjoy spending time with friends which once again gives us a nice hit of positive feelings. In this way as well playing games can also provide an opportunity to talk through things with out conversations always become some intense deep and meaningful. This is of course the limitation of board games for self-care as it is dependent on the availably of friends although of course clubs or shops might be another option for some.
Reading
This was perhaps my oldest method of self-care as I was a prolific reader back in school. Losing myself in different worlds and becoming invested in the colourful lives of characters was great escape. It has also over the years driven my passion for history and philosophy which has made me focus on other things or helped me find some perspective over time. In fact it is through reading the works of Camus and others that I tend to view myself as an existentialist and strive to make my own meaning in life since there is nothing else. Like writing, reading requires time and a certain level of concentration which means it is one of the Self-care strategies that drops away when I am really struggling or time poor. Additionally, as an English teacher I obviously read a lot for work so sometimes it is simply not the strategy I’m looking for.
Gaming
Back in the day I used to play a lot of Xbox this include a lot of first person shooters and a few sport games but was mostly dominated by RPGs. I played some of the greats with multiple play throughs Dragonage, Mass Effect, KOTOR, The Witcher 3, Fable. The amount of hours I invested into these over the years would probably be astonishing especially as I try to compete as many side quest as possible, explore romance options and seek out alternate endings. Realistically, like with reading it is always about the richness of the story and exploring new worlds, in a sense it is emersion an active engagement with the story. Considering a liner playthrough of The Witcher 3 takes 52 hours increasing responsibilities have definitely changed the way I play. Now days I mostly play Xbox with my son and it has become a different kind of self-care as more of a medium for engaging in something as a parent then what I am actually playing.
Puzzles and Lego
Although very different since Lego is generally completed using instructions these two activities have clear similarities. Since your creating something by putting small pieces together they operate in a similar way and like many of my self-care strategies it is about concentration. As focusing on something else allows distance from the source of anxiety and depression. Recently this has definitely been one method of self-care that I have focused on more especially as my son has grown up. These are activities, especially building Lego that we complete together, we end up buying new sets in pairs, one for each of us now. The added feeling of being in the moment and spending quality time doing a shared passion really deepens these activities for me. The activity allows me to be in the moment this therefore not only distracts from stress and anxiety but counter acts through providing a meaningful positive experience.
Colouring and Painting
Not since I was a child have I really engaged in colouring in any real meaningful way but of course as a parent with young child myself it sort of goes with the territory. Now especially with my son these days progressing well past scribbling on a page we have been sitting together for lengths of time colouring. It isn’t always possible to really focus on these occasions but at times I can really get into a bit of a zone which I have definitely found calming. Realistically I haven’t thought to much about this as self-care that worked for me until a friend organised an at home paint and sip. Of course it was a bit of fun with a small group of people but I found the concentration on the couple of pieces I was working on soothing. As a result a week later I picked up my own watercolour markers and adult colouring book which got me through one especially difficult night.
These strategies won’t work for everyone and what is important is that people find their own outlets. However, as I have hopefully highlighted we can’t rely on just one strategy as their are factors or situations that change and might impact our ability to engage in our preferred form of self-care. In my case I have a wealth of outlets but often can find myself in a negative spiral that blinds me from engaging in proper self-care so my challenges is perhaps to better identify when I need to tale action.
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